Forsaken
by Storms
Summary: AU Edward returns to Forks having to face the lives which he shattered when he left.
1. Author's Note Introduction

Forsaken

By: Storms (Ambereyes)

Summary: (AU) Edward returns to Forks having to face the lives which he shattered when he left.

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer is the genius that created Twilight and all of its amazing characters. I, however, am the creator of the storylines and unrecognizable characters This disclaimer is meant to encompass the entire story.

Special thanks to Cocoa for being my Beta. Love You, Girlie!

If you see her at the Twilight Lexicon let her know how much you appreciate her contributions because I know I do.

Thanks to all of you who love my stories. I truly hope you like this just as much. And keep up reviewing.


	2. Chapter 1: Panic

Chapter One: Panic

It had been months since I stood in this place and felt whole. Months since my eyes fell upon her window, beckoning me to my one true home in Bella's arms. Her window looked the same as always. The antiqued lace curtains flitted in the breeze that slipped through the small opening of the sill.

The urge to race up the side of her house and enter her bedroom like I had so many times before was almost unbearable to resist. But I knew I no longer had the right to do so. Not after what I had done to her in order to leave, and especially not after what I was about to do.

I had given her my word that my presence would no longer darken her life. I promised that I would never again endanger her. But I was about the break my promise because I was too weak to carry through with my plan.

During the months of agony, I walked around like a soulless shell, devoid of the will to exist in this world without her. My guilt had thoroughly destroyed my one true chance at happiness. I convinced myself that she would be better off without me. I convinced myself that I would be able to go on with the knowledge that she was safer without me there. But I was delusional. How could I have ever been so stupid to think that I could survive without her?

My life was shattered with every piece lying crushed under my feet. It was my own fault, but now I was going to fix it. My only saving grace was that one option to come back and beg for her mercy…the option to see her again, to hold her and cherish her again. It was that option that called to me day in and day out, driving me mad with heartache. It begged me to return to her, begged me for the love that I had forsaken in the name of the greater good. And I had finally succumbed to the voice that called me back to her.

I needed Bella, like the Earth needed the Sun. There was no way for me to exist without her. She was everything to me. I needed her back, but was there any chance that she would accept me back? Would she ever understand my reasons for leaving her?

The lies that flowed from me that night accomplished exactly what they were intended to do, they sever every shred of hope that bound her too me. And with them tore every last piece of my long dormant heart right out of my chest with excruciating pain. How could I have done that to her? I needed the chance to explain everything to her.

Fear started to grow stronger in the pit of my stomach for each moment I stood here staring at her home. Fear was really an emotion I was not used to. It seemed to only come out when Bella was involved. She was so fragile, her life so easily snuffed out. I felt like she existed as vapor where the slightest wind could blow and take her away from me. Now the Pain mixed in with the Fear. I had already existed without her for too long. I needed her back and I needed her back _now!_

As I started for the front porch, scenarios ran through my head of how this might play out. She could slam the door in my face. She could scream at me, slap me across the face. She could hate me. Or worse, she could have moved on. As the list of possibilities grew my prospects grew darker and darker. Then one godsend thought cross through my mind. She could run back into my arms with a genuine smile for my return. She could forgive me for my absolute stupidity and I could spend the rest of eternity making it up to her. Showering her with the love I truly felt this whole time.

This was my moment. I tentatively rose up on the front step to stand frozen in front of the door, ready to lay myself at her feet in an effort to beg her forgiveness. What was I going to tell her? I lied! Every word that came from me that night was an utterly boldface, tortuous lie of the worst kind. My voice spoke lies to the one I loved, breaking her heart, and I couldn't hate myself any more for every moment of it. I was a vile creature, unworthy of her love. But I needed her to exist. The pain I felt without her was unbearable and I could not continue on that way. I needed her unlike anything else. No blood, no hunt, no distraction could ever fill the void that I had felt in her absence. I needed _HER_.

I sucked in a breath and gently knocked on the door. Behind it, I heard Charlie shuffled a little slower then I had remembered him moving. His thoughts were quiet and reserved, questioning who was disturbing him now. As the door opened up I braced myself for the angry thoughts I was about to receive.

In a deathly quiet tone, completely unlike him, Charlie spoke.

"Get the hell off of my land." Profanities the likes I've never heard in all my time on Earth started streaming through his mind and the hatred he was feeling as he looked at me was so thick I didn't even need Jasper to sense it. The reaction caught me off guard. In all honesty, I was expecting the anger but the full on hatred completely confused me.

"Please, Sir. I need to speak with her."

"Are you deaf?" he asked fully emerging from behind the door. His voice steadily growing louder as his anger rose. "I said get the _HELL_ off my land before I shoot you where you stand!"

That was completely unlike Charlie to actually verbally threaten me out loud. Then a flash in his mind caught me completely off guard. Bella being carried to Charlie by a strange man from the woods the night I left. She looked white as a ghost…almost dead. Pure and unmitigated fear exploded within me in that very moment. I couldn't even both to hide the pain and fear that I knew my face showed. I never in my wildest dreams ever wanted to see her like that. What happened to her?

"Where is she?" I begged, as an ominous feeling began to consume me. "I need to see her. To tell her I'm sorry."

"Leave!" Charlie shoved me backwards. I was in too much shock to move and then the angry started to flare within me.

"I'm not going anywhere until I see her!" I yelled. There was no one who would stand in my way now.

"Don't you understand?" Charlie screamed inches from my face. "She isn't here! She hasn't been here for quite some time, thanks to you!"

"What do you mean? Where is she? What has happened to her?" I needed to know.

"You happened to her! You destroyed her!" Charlie slammed the door in my face and walked back into his house. I stood frozen there on his porch in complete shock. Questions were burning through my mind, but every thought was drowned out by the sounds coming from Charlie's bedroom. He was crying.

Charlie was a strong man, but right now the man that I had grown to know and respect during the time that I had spent with Bella, sat on the floor of his bedroom, with his back up against the closed door. He was sobbing uncontrollably into his large, fatherly hands. The same hands that held Bella up when she was learning to walk and the same hands that held her the day that she was brought into the world, now covered a pain that I had caused. This was wrong, a mistake. Panic and doubt started to settle in. Bella has to be here!

I was going to get some answers, even if it caused Charlie more pain. I needed to find her. Just as my fist was about to make contact with the front door, it stopped under no force of its own.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, not really sure why Alice showing up would shock me. But the panic was drowned out everything else. I hadn't told my family that I was coming back. I didn't want to get their hopes up or mine for that matter. But I knew Alice would have seen it coming.

"Leave him be, Edward." Alice said, her voice was dark with raw emotions. I had never seen Alice like this. She was heartbroken. The pain was evident on her face but her mind gave nothing away. She knew very well how to block thoughts from me but still the fact that she was doing it now, made me feel like I would drown in my own fear. It was totally consuming me now.

"Alice, I need to see, Bella." I said, pain and anger ringing through my voice. It was anger at myself that was raging through my mind. _How could I have let her go?_ I thought, mentally berating myself for being so stupid.

Desperation wracked my mind. What were they hiding from me? This was torture. If I could only get up to her room, to see that everything was normal I might have calmed down enough to listen to reason but the look in Alice eyes told me that she wouldn't allow me to go in.

"She's not here, Edward." She said, with the kind of sadness only one who truly loved you could show, and lead me away from the door. _She hasn't been here for a long time._ I stopped in my tracks before we made it back to the car and just stared at her sympathetic face. My mind stopped working properly because I knew what she was trying to tell me was obvious but I couldn't seem to make it out. The heartache was engulfing everything within me; it was all I could feel now.

"I need her, Alice." I felt my face crumble under the pain.

"I'll take you to her." She answered with only sadness in her eyes. _Take me to her? Where was she? Was she still alive? What happened to my Bella? How could I have not been here to protect her from whatever happened? _

_What have I done?_


	3. Chapter 2: Broken

Chapter Two: Broken

The whole drive south, Alice and I remained silent; our eyes locked on the road as it flew by under the car. My mind was too wrapped up in my own thoughts to speak. Under normal circumstances, we would have taken the time to catch up, since we really haven't spoken since I left Forks.

During the short period of time that I stayed with my family, after that accursed night, I was too consumed by the unbridled pain and anguish to be in the same room as anyone, let alone talk with them.

It was all too much to bear. Their bittersweet memories would constantly remind me of what I had torn from my life. I died with each thought of Bella that raced through their minds. Each time my guilt and sorrow was compounded by knowing that not only did I hurt Bella and myself with my effort to keep her safe, but also my family as well. It felt like my heart had been ripped from my chest, one excruciating piece at a time, leaving me hollowed, raw, and broken. But it wasn't as though I could stop their thoughts, so I left.

I was such a fool!

More than anything, I wanted to slam my head into the dashboard repeatedly for my stupidity. Even though I only acted with the best of intensions, I can't believe how horribly I screwed up. I needed Bella, and I had cast my only chance at love by the wayside because I was too scared. I was frightened by the constant danger that my world was to her. I was petrified that she would see me for the monster that I was and run away screaming. I was scared period.

There was no way for me to exist without her, and as soon as I found her, and I would find her, I would beg and plead with her to take me back into her life. Even if she didn't accept I would stay, hidden within the shadows. I would watch over her, protect her and love her from afar.

Looking back now, I realized that it was to be my fate. From the day I met her, I was to be her guardian. From the moment our eyes met, I knew. Deep within me laid a natural urge to protect her and to keep her safe. I didn't know it then, but Fate had also brought her into my life to guard over me, just as I was to guard over her. She rekindled my human side with new found fervor. She gave me new meaning to my life. Bella had given me love, and now I needed to get it back.

A burning flared within my chest with such intensity that it took me a moment to understand what I was feeling. It was the idea of seeing Bella again that was engulfing me. She was so close I could feel it. I needed to get to her now. Just as the anticipation of being able to see Bella again was about to overwhelm me, Alice turned into a parking lot. I hadn't noticed where we were until my eyes locked on the sign, "University of Washington Medical Center."

Alice pulled into a parking space, but slammed on the breaks quickly. I whipped my head around to see her frozen with her eyes shut and her hands clenched on the steering wheel. She was having a vision, and I witnessed it second hand through her thoughts.

"I'm sorry, Edward," she whispered, her face was grave. The vision held the silhouette of Bella in the dark, lying on her side in a bed, motionless.

Without thinking, I bolted out of the car and ran into the main lobby of the hospital. I knew which ward she was in because of Alice's vision but I had to stop for an unbearable second to see which floor it was on. After seeing the floor that was needed, I made a mad dashed across the lobby, not caring who saw me. I avoiding the elevators, and instead took the abandoned stairs, as not to lose a fraction of time. The nine floors were traversed in an instant, and I wrenched open the heavy metal door. A large metallic slamming noise echoed from behind me as I walked up to the nurse's station with desperation written all over my face.

"I need to see Bella Swan." The nurse looked over my appearance, her sympathetic thoughts screaming at me when she heard her name.

"Friend or Family?" She asked simply. It was hospital policy apparently, but I didn't care. For once I had no idea how to answer the question. Bella and I were so much more than friends, but not yet family. Her expectant look turned to confusion at my hesitation.

"He's family, Nancy." Alice's voice called from behind me. I turned to see her pleasant façade. She smiled at the woman who then smiled in return.

"Alice! It's so nice to see you again. Is this young gentleman with you?" Her pleasant demeanor made it sound that Alice had been her a few times.

"Yes. He just got in from Europe. He was studying abroad." She had a flawless cover story, but my anxiety was growing by leaps and bounds as each excruciating moment passed.

The woman took in my appearance once more and said "Alright, I won't keep you. Room 317."

"You go ahead Edward. It's down the hall and to the left. I'll be right there," she said casually. I didn't need the directions; I could already smell her breathtaking scent. Alice wanted to check on Bella's status and also wanted to give me some time alone with her. I left without a second thought down the hall.

Her scent was so much more than I remembered it. It took my breath away as I got closer. But there was something off. It was much weaker than it should be. I quickened my pace but not all out running as worry flooded my thoughts. I couldn't risk attracting attention to myself.

314…315…316…317.

I froze as I stood in her door way. Bella lay with her back towards me on the hospital bed. The grey rumpled sheets slightly covering her body. She was wearing a hospital gown, and I was horrified by what I saw. Bella's back was partially exposed, the opening in the gown left her little privacy, and through it I saw her spine and ribs poking through her skin. She was emaciated and in essence withering away to nothing.

I entered her room cautiously. Fear hindering my steps as I made my way around the other side of still form. I fell to my knees as I came to face her.

"Bella?" My voice was a bare whisper, as my face crumpled under the pain that was tearing through my chest. My hand rose under its own power pulling the hair that obscured her face away.

She was a mere shadow of the once glorious angel that I had known. Her features were ghostly, and her precious lips had faded like a rose in winter. Her eyes were closed and her face held no emotion. It's like she was gone only her faintly beating heart kept her bond to this world. Bella had stopped living.

"She's been here since a week after we left, Edward. But I only found out last week." Alice had come in and sat beside Bella's unresponsive body, her eyes looking down at me with a mixture of sympathy and anger.

"What happened?" I could barely speak now.

"I'm not sure exactly. Bella had apparently run deep into the woods behind her house. It took the search party hours to find her. But when they did she was just like this, only soaked and shivering. She never woke up." Alice gently reached over and stroked Bella's arm with a sisterly kindness. There was the same pain written across her face as I'm sure there was on mine.

"What was she doing deep in the woods? I left her by her house?" I couldn't make sense of the situation that Alice had described.

"I don't know, Edward. But a few days later she came down with Pneumonia and her condition has gotten steadily worse." Even though Alice's words held only sympathy, her thoughts, no mattered how blocked she tried to make them, were screaming out accusations. This was entirely my fault.

"I tried to save her, Alice. I wanted her to live, to be happy, to be safe. I tried to save her." I couldn't help but break down at this point. Everything that I had done to her, everything I said to her, brought her to this place. I destroyed her and that destroyed everything that was left inside of me. "I love her, Alice."

"I know, Edward." Alice came and wrapped her arms around me, trying to give comfort me where none could be given. All I could do was stare at Bella's beautiful face, while feeling my heart being wrenched out.

After a small stretch of silence, Alice's thoughts broken through my torment. _She's dying, Edward_. _It's only a matter of time now._

"What did the nurse tell you?" I asked, needing to see just what she was facing.

"She started showing signs of organ system failure two days ago. They keep trying to put in an IV, but her veins keep collapsing. Her liver and kidneys have already stopped functioning. She only has a day or two left, Edward."

I looked at my angel once more feeling myself being torn apart with each word Alice spoke. Multi-organ system failure was incredibly painful. Bella did not deserve this. I looked at her O2 stats. They were dropping, which could only mean that her lungs were also on the verge of giving out.

"Edward, there is only one way to save her. But are you willing to do it? " Alice asked, grabbing my hand in hers tightly, willing me to listen. "Carlisle won't make it back in time, and I don't think I can do it without killing her." I just stared at her not believing what she was asking. "Edward, it is up to you. You've done it before."

"Alice, I can't take her life away!"

"Edward, she stopped living when you left. It is already gone." There was a pleading tone in her voice. I knew Alice needed her sister back. Our exile had been harder on them than I could have possibly imagined. It hurt most of my family to leave Bella, but they went because I asked them to. Alice and Esme especially. I was responsible for everything.

"Alice, I can't." My voice was thick with grief. I knew that my resolve was dwindling with each moment that passed staring at her motionless form.

"Edward, can you bare to lose her? Or more to the point, can you survive without her in your life for the rest of time?" Alice reached out and pulled my face towards her, my eyes locking with hers. She had never been more of a sister to me than in that moment. My agony reflected in her topaz eyes. "It almost killed you to be separated from her when she was still here, and there was still the chance of coming back to her. It would destroy you if she is taken away forever. I can't let that happen, Edward. I won't sit back and watch you fall into the same state as her."

Alice got up and walked across the room. I sat watching her, unable to make myself move. Alice shut the door to Bella's room and locked it. Then she came and sat on the bed behind Bella's body. She swept Bella's long and matted hair away from her neck. Alice looked down at her exposed neck and then back towards me. There was fear in her eyes. She had no faith in herself to succeed in changing her, but she was will to do it to save Bella and save me from the pain of losing her.

Indecision immobilized me. Did I have the right to change her? She had wanted it once, but did she still want it now? Alice began to move painstakingly slow towards her neck, whether she was giving me time to stop her I don't know. I flashed my eyes to Bella's face, her lips quivered minutely. I moved quickly to listen.

The whisper was almost inaudible over all of the machinery running and beeping. I had to move my ear right next to her lips to hear the weak words, but my breath caught once I had.

"Edward, help me…" There was a slight look of pain on her face. She knew I was here, she wanted me here. Determination flared within me as her pleading met my ear. I looked up at Alice with intensity.

"Her heart is growing weaker, so we need to stay near the hospital in case we need some medical equipment." With that I started removing all of the sensors that were attached to her. I quickly wrapped Bella is the bed blankets. Alice grabbed a few other things from around the room. Luckily, Bella's room was in the back of the hospital facing a thick forest.

About four floors down and to the right, was the roof of an adjacent building. I launched myself out with Bella's frail body held tightly in my arms. Alice was right behind me. We had landed silently, and descended the last five floors and were off into the trees before the nursing staff would have been able to make it into Bella's room.

We ran a couple miles into the woods, far enough away so no one would hear her screams but not far enough that we couldn't make it back to the hospital in case something unforeseen happened. Alice's visions were useless at this point because Bella wasn't consciously making decisions anymore. It was all up to fate, now.

We made it to a clearing in the woods and I set Bella down on the blankets Alice had taken from the room. I quickly checked her vital signs to make sure she still had enough strength within her. They were still strong enough, thankfully. Alice came and knelt beside me.

"What do you want me to do?" She asked, a determined look on her face.

"Just make sure I don't go too far." There was a dark look in my eyes as I said this. I could feel it. I had tasted her blood once, and I knew it would be even harder this time to stop myself. The memory of her blood brought the beast within me alive with ferocity, screaming to be set free.

"Ok." She said. It was now or never. I swept Bella's beautiful hair aside and her porcelain neck which once was so vital and strong, now looked so frail, called to me the same as it always had. I needed to think about anything else but drinking from her. I stopped breathing, in a pathetic attempt at smothering the potency of her blood. Bending down, I lifted her body a little off the ground. I moved closer to the artery pulsating just under the surface of her skin, stopping just before I reached it.

"I love you, Bella," I whispered in her ear lovingly. If anything happened, she needed to know that much at least. My lips gave her a tender kiss on her cheek before I moved down to the base of her neck.

I closed my eyes and sunk in my teeth. As the warmest, sweetest blood that I could have imagined gushed down my throat, I could only think about my treasured memories of Bella and I together: the prom, our first kiss, the day we spent in the meadow. The passion and love that I held for her helped me push away that raging monster that cried for every last drop of her precious blood.

_I love you_, I thought and pulled away from her with an incredible effort of force. I stumbled away from her as she collapsed back on the ground. Grasping for breath to clear my head, I watched as Alice went over to Bella. Checking to see that her heart was still pumping, Alice looked up to me and gave a sad sort of smile.

"You did it, Edward." She came to sit next to me on the ground as we waited for Bella to react to the venom. As the moments passed by Bella didn't move. She didn't scream and beg. She didn't react at all. It was like she couldn't feel what was happening to her body.

"Alice, call Carlisle. Something is wrong." I looked at her with a worried face. She whipped out her phone and quickly dialed the number. Carlisle picked up and in instant and Alice filled him in on all that had transpired.

"He's on his way…" Alice shut her phone. Then she stopped half way through her sentence as her thoughts were whirling around what Carlisle had said to her.

"From what we know, it sounds like she is having the same reaction you did, Alice." I could hear Carlisle's voice speak with her thoughts. What this meant she had no idea and frankly neither did I. Hopefully Carlisle would have some sort of idea.

"Now what?" Alice asked.

"Now we sit and wait."

After a few hours, the sun was starting to set and nothing had changed. Bella still lay unresponsive on the blanket in the grass. Carlisle was a little over an hour away. And we were still just waiting. The waiting was killing me. I needed something to do. I got up and began to pace back and forth.

"That's kind of irritating," Alice said.

"Sorry, I…" A twig snapped a little further into to the forest. I whirled around to stare into the darken woods.

_What is it?_ Alice asked as she got up and stood by my side. She hadn't seen anything in her visions, which struck me as rather odd. Alice was hardly ever surprised.

"I don't know." I whispered. "Alice, go hide Bella within the bushes."

Alice did as I asked; quickly hiding her under a thick hedge with just enough overhanging foliage to obscure Bella completely. Then she came back to my side staring into the forest, just as another twig snapped much closer than before. My body tensed incredibly as I heard their approaching thoughts from the darkness.

_Crap!_


	4. Chapter 4

Hey everyone! I just wanted to let my readers know that I've started an author's page where you can follow me as I chronicle my writing adventures into the world of publishing. It includes some of the original stories I've written, helpful sites for those of you who want to break into the publishing world as well, the advice I've received from industry professionals, and outlets that I find inspiration in. I would love it if you guys joined me over at www{dot}cmvillani{dot}blogspot{dot}com for each step of the way. See you there.

~Storms


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